Every gardener thinks they can handle zucchini. They plant two, maybe three, because “we’ll eat a lot this summer.” Zucchini grows fast and gives you gardening confidence. At first, it feels like triumph — a living trophy of success. You stand in the garden, proud and amazed, saying, Look what I grew, and grew, andContinue reading “The Zucchini Survival Guide “
Category Archives: forage
The Corn Myths We Tell Ourselves
The Corn Myths We Tell OurselvesCorn isn’t just a crop — it’s a trickster god with a wicked sense of humor.
It rewards devotion with worms, windstorms, and humility.
Every stalk is a sermon, every harvest a confession.
Step into the Corn War Journal and learn why rage can be sacred, rebellion fertile, and failure divine.
The Rage Garden Bestiary: A Catalog of Every Creature That Has Wronged Me
Every garden has its villains, but mine has assembled a full cast of characters worthy of a fantasy epic—if the fantasy epic involved more chewing, digging, and emotional damage. The raccoons are the masked marauders, descending under cover of darkness to ravage the corn with their unsettlingly human hands. They are clever, relentless, and poweredContinue reading “The Rage Garden Bestiary: A Catalog of Every Creature That Has Wronged Me”
Enemies at the Gate: A Rage Garden Field Report on Animal Pests
Every garden eventually learns the truth: plants are easy. Animals are the problem. The moment your garden begins to thrive, the local wildlife forms a committee, drafts a battle plan, and launches a coordinated assault on everything you love. You can mulch, water, fertilize, and whisper affirmations to your tomatoes, but none of it mattersContinue reading “Enemies at the Gate: A Rage Garden Field Report on Animal Pests”
Planting the Empire: A Rage Garden War Journal on Growing Sweet Corn
Planting the Empire begins with rebellion in the soil.
Sweet corn doesn’t ask permission to grow — it demands rich earth and fierce intention.
This isn’t farming; it’s empire‑building.
The Religious Experience of Indiana Sweet Corn
Caught between tradition and science, the simple gardener stands in the seed aisle like a confused extra in a Shakespearean tragedy. On one side, ancestral ghosts whisper, ‘Silver Queen, you coward.’ On the other, the packet screams, ‘SUPER SWEET SYNERGISTIC HYPER‑SUGAR DELUXE.’
Sweet corn is memory and science. Heritage and experimentation. Chaos wrapped in husks. And it will humble you every single season.
Rage Garden War Journal: Rot and Ruin
It started innocently enough. I was admiring my tomatoes, plump, green, full of promise, when I noticed something horrifying. The bottoms were turning black. Not dramatic, gothic black. More like “forgot to pay the calcium bill” black. Blossom‑end rot. The name sounds poetic, but it’s really just nature’s way of saying, “You messed up yourContinue reading “Rage Garden War Journal: Rot and Ruin”
Rage Garden War Journal: The Hornworm War
A caffeine‑fueled gardener faces hornworm invasions, dramatic plants, and a hilarious nutrient deficiency crisis. Rage becomes devotion, compost becomes therapy, and nitrogen becomes redemption.
Rage Garden War Journal: The Invasion
A caffeine‑fueled gardener faces hornworm invasions, dramatic plants, and a hilarious nutrient deficiency crisis. Rage becomes devotion, compost becomes therapy, and nitrogen becomes redemption.
The Fortress of Tomatoes and the Art of Defense
The tomatoes rise like soldiers crowned in wire and sunlight. The soil hums with purpose, and every creature stands guard. Bees patrol, snakes coil, and the wind tests the walls. This is not conquest but covenant. Defense is devotion. Tonight, the fortress breathes, armored in love and discipline.
